On resilience…

I was not able to write since September. The reason is quite simple, I was sick. As it happens so many times on these kind of situations, it just came all of a sudden. It started with a small minor pain on one knee and within very few days the pain skyrocketed with a swollen knee then, my other knee also swelled and from one week to the next, I was unable to walk so I ended up at the hospital.

Facing the day to day challenges is hard, but somehow waking up every morning and then facing the challenges of the day, gives some sort of sequence of the events or challenges that we will be facing. It is true that you have unexpected situations, but somehow they are within some sort of context.

When health issues arise, the situation is way different. One day, without previous warning, you are sick. Something starts bothering you or hurting you and all of a sudden you start on a long process of diagnosis, treatment and recovery phases which can go on and on in cycles until you finally recover (in most cases).

Resilience is needed when unexpected adverse things come to our life. Things can break our heart, our body, our mind, but not our soul. Resilience is about being able to navigate through adversity. It’s about being flexible and allow things to happen while keeping a positive attitude. It is not about becoming rigid and fearless.

Being resilient doesn’t mean to be fearless, being fearless means not having feelings; Resilient means that even with fear, we move forward and accept the challenges as they come while hoping for the best possible outcome.

Resilience resides inside of us. It doesn’t mean that we should never be down. It means that when we are down, we accept it and then stand up again and move forward. It’s also not about being blind to reality. It simply means accepting the reality while trying to obtain the best out of the situation. It means, learning as much as possible, and keep on fighting, hoping to come out of the situation even without knowing how.

Early last year, I had a painful experience. My 25 year old cousin passed away trying to overcome cancer. While fighting the illness, I always heard him keeping himself positive, and always talking about how things would be once the cancer would be gone. He had big dreams, and kept on fighting until the very last minute. At the end, he could not make it. His loss had a deep impact on me, and what we can also take out of this experience is the fact that we cannot believe what people try to sell us: “Be resilient and you will overcome every obstacle”.

I often hear people saying: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. This is true, but we must be aware that some things can and at some point in our life will kill us. Being resilient, does not guarantee success, but success will most likely happen if you keep yourself flexible, positive and doing your best to overcome the situation. If at the end you don’t make it, at least you will learn from the experiences, which will equip you with tools for the next round of challenges, thus enhancing your quality of life.

Remember:

“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional”, and I would add:

Resilience is the key to go through pain without the suffering.